The truth lies behind communication

Job Interview

2009-07-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

Interviews are never that simple. Even if you have gone for millions that you can barely count, it wouldn't get any easier for you. Infact, it is a very complicated process. It can be very stressful to the person being interviewed. Meeting new people, selling yourself as in your skills and your capabilities can be as risky as a poker game. If you don't hit the target right, you might end up losing it all.

Firstly, be prepared. Make sure you know what you are going to face. Going through frequently asked interview questions can be a great way to prepare yourself. The internet is the best source for it. This is a way to expose yourselft to the questions you are likely to be asked. Also, explain real-life experiences in your answer to convince the interviewers of your abilities. Provide clear evidences to them about your success. It is the best way to promote your candidacy.

Next, watch for what you wear. Being neat and tidy is very important. The first impression will always reflect your personality. So, make sure you show a good one. Besides that, always go for decent formals. Wearing something too tight or too skimpy will make you uncomfortable. Skirts would best compliment with closed-up formal shoes with a shirt. It will make you smart as well as diplomatic looking

Another point to consider is punctuality. Being there and showing up on time tells the interviewer that you are really interested in the job and you will remain on time all along. However, you'll leave a bad remark on yourself if you come late or miss the bus. When this happens, it leads to losing focus. Therefore, be on time and prepare yourself well

You are now armed with the right weapons for your interview. Lastly, be yourself!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Stage Fright

2009-07-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

"Stage fright is good, and it makes you better looking"

Many people have the greatest fear of getting into public speaking. Speaking in front of few hundred and at times, few thousand people can be very frightening. However, most of us can pull through it easily while some of us find it really difficult. Stage fright can be very critical at times. It will discourage you from showcasing your ideas and it simply kills your focus. This often leads to speech not worth listening to. Feeling anxious is absolutely normal when it comes to your first stage show. On the other hand, stage fright is the most extreme case of anxiousness and nervousness a person feel while speaking a great number of audience and might result it feeling blank and out of ideas while speaking.

Having stage fright doesn't mean it is the end of everything! Infact, there are strategies developed to overcome stage fright. First of all, be confident. The key to a successful speech lies in your confidence. Being embarrassed of your inabilities can be a contributing factor to stage fright. Practice makes perfect. Bare this in mind always that nobody on this surface of Earth is perfect. The more you practice, the better you get. As you get better, it unleashes your confidence as well. Doing it in front of a mirror, family or friends with definitely show improvement. Also, after presenting it to them, ask for honest feedbacks and correct the parts where you think you have gone wrong.

Besides that, when presenting on stage, be focused. When you are focused, you are aware of what you are speaking. Get rid of all distractions. Looking at audience frightens you? Then, the best way to overcome this, is to not think about that. Like said above, be focused on your speech rather than thinking about what others think of you. When you are focused, it boost confidence and everyone will love to see that. It simply brings the best out of yourself.

When you feel audiences are not giving you enough attention, take it from them! Reading a touching poem or cracking a joke will be an instant alarm clock to their ears. Make sure you do it the right way, or else you might end up entertaining yourself instead of others on stage. Having the right amount of rest and water before your show can improve your performance on stage. Also, when you are feeling nervous and your legs start to shake and tremble, start walking. Don't make it too obvious but just do it lightly as it will look like a part of gesture.

Playing with gestures during speech can make it more interesting. It can be your signature look. But, do not overdo it. If so, you'll look as if you are faking it!

With these steps above, I'm pretty sure that public speaking and class presentations will just be like ABC. If it still worries you, keep doing it until you get better. One thing to be noted down is never read from any source or paper. Go with the flow and do it like "freestyle"!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Powerful words

2009-07-05T09:13:00.003-07:00

A few weeks ago, I attended an event called the Leo Burnett + Cannes Lions Predictions 2009. It was something like a grammy award for advertisements around the world. (pardon the blur picture, it was taken with a lousy cam) The event was quite interesting. I got to see 51 top advertisements from around the world, all in which are interesting in their own way.

Some communicated humour. Some emphasized on contrasting differences to capture the attention of the audience. But the one that captured me most a Singaporean ad from MCYS. To me, this one communicated the biggest and strongest message.

The woman in this ad made me laugh, made me think, and almost made me cry at the end. In my opinion, if a 3 minute ad can invoke these 3 feelings in 1 go, it must be 1 heck of an advertisement. Obviously, the communication element here plays a vital role. The woman in the ad used a combination of spoken words, facial expressions and funny noises to communicate humour in her husband's sleeping patterns. This is the non-verbal part of communication playing its role it invoking the 1st feeling.

Then, she played with different words to make meaning of the humour she brought earlier. The sentence 'these sounds indicated to me that my David was still alive' changed the 'mood' of the ad, making you think for 1 second. & in another, the music that comes in invokes your emotional feelings.

Its amazing how a simple sentence can turn a whole speech worth of words the other way around and bring about a different meaning, a different context. This, in my opinion, is communication at its best. This is what communication is all about.

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Latin Dance Fever!

2009-07-05T09:13:00.001-07:00

2 nights ago, I had a wonderful opportunity to witness a Latin Dance Competition held by my college's dance club. The event was a blast. The dance moves were awesome. And I couldn't help but notice the different forms of communication taking place during the event.

First off, I could never have noticed the complications involved in the communication during a dance. Yes, even dancers performing on stage is a performance of communication. And every move communicates something to the partner. Since this was a Latin dance competition, the dances had plenty of sex appeal. The moves communicated romance and passion. The dancers would look each other in the eye when they dance (or at least try to). Just by doing so, it added so much heat and chemistry to the dance, giving it a whole new feel. To me, this is the most unique part of Latin dancing.

But the interesting thing about the dance competition I attended was that the performances weren't pure Latin dances. They were rather a mix of modern day dancing and Latin dances. Purists might object to this. But the average Joe like me who doesn't know nuts about Latin dances found it quite appealing. To me, it further enhanced the communication between the dancers. It gave them more room to express themselves. Everytime their skin made contact, or when they twisted and turned on the dance floor, it wasn't just movement of the body. It was a strong message, making a huge impact.

Which is why I think you don't have to be a dancer to enjoy dancing. Dancing is an art of expressing yourself. Its an art of communication. Even kids can express themselves through a dance (:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

In the rain.

2009-07-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

(credits to Noferin, http://media.photobucket.com/image/picture%20of%20boy%20under%20rain/noferin/rainwood2.jpg)

How do you feel standing under the heavy rain?

I happened to browse through The Star newspaper today and noticed an article regarding dramatheraphy and psychology.

"Then comes the boy's turn. In his clutch is a picture far different from the rest-a black-and white photograph of African boys holding their mouths open to the falling rain.

"This card represents hope," he says. "It gives me hope."

Before he can furnish the eager crowd with further information, however, Vanitha Chandrasegaram, 39, signals for him to stop.

"Okay,"she says."The media is here. You don't want to broadcast your innermost feelings to the entire world. And even if you do, this is a one-time demo session. We shouldn't open something we're not able to finish."

The first question that pops into my mind was, are we discouraged to express our thoughts to the world or it's dangerous to speak our perceptions in front of media?

However, I was more interested in how people perceive the picture of standing in the rain. In my perception, rain symbolizes obstacles and rain's quantity represents how difficult it is to dissolve. I would also imagine a boy opening his mouth to the falling rain might as well surrender himself to the rain by spreading his both hands. In my perspective, it shows that the boy is willing to face upcoming dilemmas with open-mindedness and courage. Besides, he did not shield himself under an umbrella signifies that he is not afraid of difficulties. The puddles of water on the ground would show his worries for his previous problems still exist.

Dear friends and readers,

Some people might perceive rain as God's beautiful creation. After hearing the music, "Kiss the rain", I felt rain is a pure element and it brings two people closer in a way although rain is cold and creates no warm. Thus, everything under the sun is viewed dissimilarly by humans. Because of perceptions, I think the most important word in our lives is "How", not "What", not even "Why". For examples, "HOW we achieve happiness", "HOW we overcome problem", "HOW we view a situation", "HOW we appreciate people around us" and "HOW we communicate".

As a conclusion, how we view on something, somebody, and some place would generate self-fulfilling prophecies which influences our consequences.

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

What it takes to be a leader!

2009-07-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Can Tyra Banks, Maria Shaparova and Tiger Woods be successful in their respective fields by only being constantly hardworking in their training sessions? I believe every powerful leader was destined to become one. Would their achievements be the same if Tyra involves herself in swimming, Maria in women football, and Tiger in basketball?

In my perception, one's genetic, childhood environment, interest, distinct personality, and fate combine to make one outstanding in a specific field.

One's genetic can help one to craft perfect skills in sports such as high stamina, optimism and techniques which were inherited through DNA from relatives and family. Besides, one is more likely to become a champion in a particular sport if they were brought up in places with sports facilities, athletes and constellations who practices sports activities. Moreover, interest for a sport plays a major role in driving one to improve his performances as well as persevere in this field. Furthermore, a recognized leader would possess various qualities which cover respect for his industry, proper time management, patient, cling to his goal and humble. Lastly, a leader may not need to strive hard to seize opportunities because opportunities will come to look for them instead.

Dear friends and readers,

However, all these aspects are redundant if one has no credible coach who grooms him, motivates him and proceeds to guide him. It is apparent that humans need wise advices as a reference and guidance to avoid procrastination.

As a conclusion, one is able to become a leader because he is very different from other ordinary people and he accomplishes tasks that ordinary people cannot do.

Here comes a fine quote from Theodore M. Hesburgh which might inspire us to become a great leader in future.

"The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet."
(credits to http://www.famous-quotes-and-quotations.com/leadership-quotes.html)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

Culture and Conflicts

2009-07-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Culture related conflicts are often very sensitive issues that barely anyone would try to pick on. Culture is one of the most essential parts of conflict and conflict resolutions. Brieftly, culture is a a very unique thing that shapes human beings to be what they are, without culture one would be incomplete. For example, Chinese are influenced by their culture that during the Lunar New Year they ought to dress in red and Malays strongly belief in the power of green. These are all customary principles that were made to differentiate one culture from the other and a way of saying "hey, look we are different!"

Usually when solving a cultural conflict most people tend to bend on strategies of dissolution or compromising. Compromising can be that both parties are satisfied with what they want which is also known as the win-win solution or either both have zilch, which is the lose-lose solution. The strategy of dissolution means solving an issue with a third alternative which might be more attractive than the first and second one.

One of the most strongest way to dissolve a conflict is by communication. Most of us know, communication is device that is used to persuade, attract, communicated and encourage others. With using the right ways of communicating, a conflict can be solved not easily but surely. One of the ways is by using the persuassive language. If you can easily persuade the other party, then you have already won half the battle. Other ways of communicating is by explaining what is right only if you have the right stand and being humble might be a good trick to win the other parties' heart. Playing with communication ways can make you a creative one but can be a little risky. Risk lies in the high-context and low-context languages. Mostly Asians, precisely Japanese prefer the high-context language where it involves beating around the bush and not getting straight to the point. This way has the capability to annoy the other party if they were to stand on the low-context language where it involves no "bullsh*t". A Westerner, one from Canada and an asian from Japan would definitely need to work on styles in communicating as they have a vast difference. This might taking things further instead of taming it and dissolving it.

Also, don't always strive in winning. Relying on "give and take" or "give more than take" would be the best idea to resolve a conflict. There are times when we can't have what we want, so why not let others have it instead. You'll be doing a good deed for others and there goes the flowing bucket of good karma! If it is not all that beneficial, don't waste time fretting about it as it will lead to blood and war without any reward.

To conclude, culture and conflicts are best avoided if it's possible as cultural conflicts are the toughest to dissolve. It often leads further if one party does not agree to stop it. Hence, be peacemakers and not warlovers. This relates to this quatotation:

"Live long and prosper "- Mr. Murali

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Group and Problem Solving

2009-07-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

Solving problem in a group manner is always one of the best techniques to come up with solutions for an issue. No matter what issue it could be, a contraversial issue or a corporate decision. Most of the corporate decisions are done with the autocratic style, where the decision of the company lies in the top-level management. However, in day-to-day college decisions, like coming up with ideas to write our research paper and report, it is usually done in a participative manner. This is where every member's decisions is counted and analyzed to whether it fits to the group's expectations.

Besides that, tasks as such is simply not easily achieved but attaining final decisions with help from everyone can always be way easier. Firstly, we always follow upon this saying "the more the merrier". This is somewhat true in some cases. In order to make the final decision, if every member in a group comes up with just an idea, there wouldn't be any problem in seeking the appropriate and suitable solution for that problem. This is because, each member might come up with their own very innovative ideas and perspectives that can surely solve an issue. However, ideas of the members can be an issues itself if it doesnt fit and match the expectations of other members. Picking the best solution out of many with the help and cooperation from every member would surely make things much more easier.

In addition, problem solving in groups can avoid any error. Making a decisions is always a very challenging task especially when it comes to dealing with every's members ideas as some might be offended that their ideas were not picked and some might not even bother to contribute, like said earlier cooperation would be a great help. As we all know, each and everyone of us have different mental abilities. One might be able to carry and do something the other might not be able to. This relates closely to the idea of correcting any errors in a decision. Other group member can alter and correct errors that will lead to a bad decision. In other words, accuracy will definitely be there. There will be a decrease in "silly mistakes".

Also, working in groups has an advantage of having greater resources to solve an issue. Resources in this context means knowledge and experience from the member's of that particular group. The decisions or solutions will definitely be of higher and better quality as members can work together to alter and mistakes and errors as well as contributing their individual ideas and thus, producing a very satisfying "master-piece".

Although working in group might seem very advantageous, but this is often a misconception because there are usually conflicts especially when it comes to decision-making. Like said earlier, some might be offended deeply. So being in a group also means you ought to motivate yourself towards open-mindedness and accepting your flaws with mould you into a perfect being! So do you have what it takes?

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Getting the message across; Part 2

2009-06-28T07:38:00.002-07:00

My friend told me about his troubles. When he spoke, the problem was clear. & the solutions were clear as well. When he finished his story, I began to structure his problem, giving him a clearer picture. I know the importance of having a 3rd person point of view in solving a problem. It helps you see things you otherwise would not be able to see, or hear from yourself when you are thinking of your problem.

& so I told him "From what I can understand, this seems to be your problem"

"You are loaded with work, and your siblings are not helping."

"Your mother refuses to give them any work, and is giving it all to you."

"Therefore, you are now tasked to redistribute this work to your siblings, the task your mother originally had"

& then, I listed a few solutions that seemed possible at the time.

"You could run away from home, like you were planning to."

"You could talk to your mom, but lately she hasn't been hearing a word you say and she seems emotional as well"

"Or you could talk to your brother and your sister, and start to share the workload"

It was then obvious which option seemed the most viable and easy. However, as easy as it sounded, my friend could not bring himself to communicate with his elder brother. He was intimidated by his elder brother, & was actually scared of his own brother.

I then started to devise a plan, in which he could speak to his brother effectively. I started out by telling him to be assertive. The logic behind it was: He needed to get a message across. He has been suffering, and his brother has not been touched, he needs his brother to get work done. Simple as that. The reasons he had to back him up were enough to make an assertive stand. When I gave him an example on how it would sound like, it sounded effective. My tone was not high, but firm, and gave a sort of a 'punchy' effect. I pointed at him when I spoke, saying 'you need to get this done. This message needs to get across'. All this non-verbal ques boosted the effect of my messages. However, he pointed out that this was coming from me, and he could not reproduce such an effective assertive speech.

The problem was not with the content of the message itself. I now understood. He can say what I wanted him to say perfectly, but he just couldn't express the non-verbal ques that gave it the character. The importance of my intonation of speech, and how I pointed a finger at my subject when I asserted a message, brings a huge difference to the table.

That night, he spoke to his brother. He told me it went well, but his voice was shaking. He did not point or had a firm voice, but rather he sounded like he was about to cry when he spoke to his brother. When he said this, I wondered how it managed to work. He did not reproduce a level of assertion that would get a message across to his brother at all. However, I managed to understand at last. His body language communicated distress, and invoked sympathy and empathy. He was being a humble ambassador when he spoke, as if asking for help from a powerful source. This made his brother feel big and respectful, and thus agreed to help with the house work.

All this sounds like a small problem. But you'd be surprised at how big it became when my friend could not express himself appropriately. Its true that communication plays a vital role in our lives, and without it we simply cannot move on. I'm glad I now understand this, and I am able to use what I know to help others. (:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Getting the message across; Part 1

2009-06-28T07:38:00.001-07:00

I had a talk with a friend 2 days ago. This friend was deeply troubled. He had 8 chores to do everyday when he got home from college, and this was tiring him out. He was becoming frustrated, because his 2 siblings, had 0 chores to do, and were just allowed to do anything they wanted. He was becoming a cinderella in he house, & he didn't know how to get the message across.

We were having dinner together in a Banana Leaf mamak together 1 night, when I suddenly noticed he was exceptionally quiet. It was a hint that something was up in his mind, but nonetheless, too little to get me suspicious. Then, when we talked, he started to raise his tone uncontrollably in anger, then lowered it very low when he realized his own actions. His face could also show he was being emotional. All this was what it took to make me realize my friend was in trouble, and we needed to talk.

At first I asked, "what seems to be the problem?". But he refused to disclose. It was always his nature to "suck things up"; but was also his bad habit to suck the bigger problems up and never let it out as well. & I realized I had to get my friend to talk, or he would suffer from emotional stress. Knowing this, I had to do something else than just ask a question to get him to spill it.

And so I decided i'd apply my knowledge from my Human Communication lectures. I started off by leaning inward, and speaking with a lower tone, "friend, talk to me. Something is up, and im listening". I chose my words carefully, as I had an option of giving him a long speech, or just saying a short sentence. Something told me he wouldn't want to listen to a long speech, given he was being in that emotional state.

He then started to express himself, starting off with a huge sigh, like he couldn't get it out of his chest. His story begun not long after, & I was surprised at how big the trouble had grown and spiralled, since he was in secondary school. Should he have got the message across earlier, things might not have been too bad. Now he was already saving up money to move out of the house. I knew this was irrational, & started to offer my friendly advice.

The conversation would not have taken place if not for the bodily hints that he was giving to me unintentionally. Some body language is hard to read, but with the help of other non-verbal ques, such as his facial expressions, and how his tone was screwing up, the message became more obvious. I also had to show certain body language to get him to open himself to me, and choose my words wisely when I spoke. These are all important forms of communication, that eventually lead to my success in getting him to speak.

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Friends, or not?

2009-06-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

Would you say, you are a true friend?

Would you say, you have true friend(s)?

One day,

you were holding a celebration party with 1,000 guests. Suddenly, 2 men appeared with guns. One stated his intentions, "people who still wish to not bless the party owner, may leave immediately without injuries". He then pulled the trigger.

Who do you think would stay with you, or runaway?

Out of these 1000 familiar guests?

Then, the man who had spoken, kept his gun and said to you, "Friend, I've chased your rebellious friends away. Have a great celebration!". They walked away.

In my perception, we often think we are assured of where we stand in friendships. However, a friendship could be jeopardized by some requests and these requests might not need repetition. Conflicts might not even exists to ruin a friendship. It takes only once for them to vanish in your life. Some people care for the consequences that might occur to their friends while out of that 1000 people, maybe majority might ignore or take advantages from that scenario.

Why?

Strange that people believe harmony is essential, but many constellations who should acquire help are not getting the help that they need. This circumstances is obviously shown in television and newspaper.

Strange that society believes in managing others' views on them but can commit mistakes that hurt friends, associates and God who really care for them.

Strange how one can put one's maximixed effort in initiating and moving on until bonding, but be the one who's terminating the friendship.

Strange how we believe friends who make empty promises but sometimes we distance ourselves from true friends who build constructive criticisms.

When silence take place for too long in between friends because of negative assumptions or unwillingness to support, the other party might perceive this silence as the friend's choice to leave him or her.
Because, a good friend always gives his or her friend the freedom of choice.

But,

when none from each side takes action to initiate a "Sorry!", "It's my fault too!", or "I need this friendship...",

I am afraid that there is no U-turn for you when you regret it.=)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

Compromise=)

2009-06-23T11:17:00.001-07:00

We are under the same sky. Everything can be possibly beautiful, depending on how we view on one or an object. Whether we interpreted a message, something or someone as gentle, hideous, beautiful or cold.

Our perception on something is influence by the current environment, manner and appearance.

We might favour or approve something because it did not contrast with us. However, everything does not exist to blend with our behaviour or taste perfectly at the first place. To make it seem perfect, it takes sacrifices and compromises for them to conceal its ugliness, presents its best and satisfy our needs. Their reward would retrieving your acknowledgement, positive feedbacks, and endorsement rather than your isolation, ignorance and distancing. However, is their hidden effort in the process of getting these rewards from another person or public, which comprise struggles, physical pain and enormous effort to hold on to their belief, are worth it compared to their intended rewards?

In my perception, I think we, humans, should try to forgive and forget a person's wrong doings, occurance of confict, and misunderstandings. It is because we wouldnt have an idea how huge has one sacrifices for us, compliments being made regarding us in front of others, be patient with us, as well as spent time to understand and reminisce us.

I often think,

What is the use of power, if someone gets hurt?

What is the use of insult, if someone gets offended?

What is the use of fights, if the friendship is at risk?

What is the use of ignorance, when communication is an important element for human?

What is the use of keeping a smile, when it is an asset?

What is the use of hatred, when God has made this world so beautiful for humans?

As a conclusion, i think we should look beyond mistakes, because everyone compromises to give us the best, at least once.

Another reason would be,

we share the same sky.=)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

How to request and how to reject, politely=)

2009-06-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

There are 2 ways of communication that can aid us tell our needs or our demands to related person. Although we can convey a message faster through verbal communication, there are times, that non-verbal communication could perform better than verbal communication in the sense that it indicates a stronger message. The best benefit is especially when we want to tell some one about our request indirectly. For example, an employee would like to ask for salary raise. His method might be:

"Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company . I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

The next day, the worker received this letter of reply :

Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly, Manager

(Joke taken from an email sender)

I think this method is a good idea to substitute his words, repeat his topic, avoid face-to-face expressions, keep a distance during this process, doesn't require an appointment, provides understood and effective message, spare the receiver some time before he reacts, and most importantly, works towards peace.

Non-verbal communication, effective?!

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

My song is my message

2009-06-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Everyone including one individual, 2 people, 3 good friends, or a group of people, keeps a song that represents their story. A song that resides in each of us, symbolizes a personal history that brings remembrance of its conflict, struggles, response, repressed feelings, happiness and expectations. All these feelings and circumstances generates communication unawarily, involuntarily, with intention or consciously in one.

A person would acknowlegde a song because of its lyrics and music that creates a feeling that caught attention and distract a listener. These lyrics may also contain situations and advices that the listener endorses to. Surely, one frequently listens to a song with numerous repetitions because one likes it and feels that this song is related to one lifestyle and story.

Besides, a good song, may be akin to an ongoing communication to a listener. It is because, a good song stays in one's memory. These voices and rhythm would replay itself unawarily in one's mind. A song may also place such a great impact on one that it always creates intrapersonal communication in one.

A song with the name, " Let the music heal your soul " by various singers, states a perception on how humans can react to a song.

"Oh if someone writes a song with a simple rhyme
Just a song where his feeling show
And if someone feels the same about the simple song
Oh sometimes you can hear them say
Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also, it also heals your soul

Chorus: Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control
Let the music give you the power
To move any mountain"

(credits to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh33J9OJ4pc)

A favourable song could decrease stress, motivate, hinder negative emotions, understand you, and make you smile without you noticing yourself. Moreover, Human needs different songs to blend with different environments. It is because these songs would reinforce one's feelings toward the environment.

A specific song may also stands for an ackowledgement between a few people. It tells these people involved regarding some narratives, assumptions and emotions that one would like to inform. Therefore, a song carries different meanings to different groups. A line says, "meanings lies in people, not in words" suits this idea best.

In conclusion, a song is a unique communication form that conveys messages and these messages are not as simple as words, slangs and jargons.
Or else, why would human dance, smile, or cry when they listen to a song?

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

What on earth is NVC? :)

2009-06-22T00:19:00.000-07:00

NVC a.k.a Nonverbal Communication

Two weeks ago, we were given an assignment to film a 5 minute movie clip about anything with one criteria, which is to include nonverbal communication concept in it. Daniel, Gervenne, Jasneeta and I, as a group made a video showing how we as college students are so busy, and stressed, BUT, at the end of the day all we need is a Kit Kat. Have a break, Have a Kit Kat! :P

In this post, i'll just scratch the surface of Nonverbal Communication. Nonverbal Communication is understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages. NVC can be communicated through body language, posture, gestures, facial expression and many more. NVC can also be communicated through objects such as hairstyle, clothing and etc.

Here is a brief video i found from youtube which basically gives you a whole idea of nonverbal communication. So, enjoy!

Done by: Bryan Lim
22 June 2009

Rejection

2009-06-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Fear of rejection is common among teenagers these days, especially for a late teen like myself. I fear rejection especially so. I can't remember the countless times where I fumbled and struggled to be accepted amongst my peers, just to avoid the humiliation in public rejection. As a high school kid, I was never almost in-line with my classmates. Then it reached a stage where I thought to myself, "wait a minute, why do I have to succumb to their lifestyles?".

So I started to form a personality of my own. I didn't purposely do things I didn't want to do just to be accepted. Rather, I tried to form a seperate identity for myself and hope it would be something they would respect (or hopefully just not reject).

I started by being more humble. The way I walked, my body language, took form of someone not of any authority, but rather of simplicity. I used to walk with my hands in my pockets, signifying disclosure in pride in myself. Then I changed by taking my hands out, and started using more hand gestures when I speak. I immediately saw its effects. People saw me as more friendly and approachable.

Aside from that, the way I speak also changed. I decided that, in order to build a character people would listen to with respect, I would first need to gain that respect. So instead of speaking and expecting my opinion to count, I spoke as if nobody would listen, and tried to gain their approval humbly. Perhaps the difference in speech might not seem like alot. But the different approach I had in my mind made a huge difference in my speech pattern, and alot of people took notice. Soon, my opinions were being highly regarded, not only amongst my peers, but to the authorities in school as well.

How often I spoke changed as well. In my highschool years, my most commonly applied principle was 'a leader always listens'. In conversations, I was noticably quieter. When people spoke, I consciously listened. People liked this alot. & when it was my turn to speak, in turn, they listened as well. I also paid alot of attention to group discussions. During breaks, while everyone would be yapping at the canteen table, I would be pouring my attention into my own food, but listening. Rather pointless, you might think, but I gained alot of information on the different personalities people have, giving me leverage when I try to convince them for something. This, you can only get by listening.

Building character is a conscious process. Im glad I took my time and achieved what I wanted. Self improvement is the best way to live my life, period. :)

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

The power of powerful brands (:

2009-06-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

What do Nike, Adidas, Reebok, Puma all have in common? They're the leading sporting brands around the world. These brands, they compete amongst the market to gain the public's awareness, but with what? The material and standard of the products produced by these companies are all equal. The only thing that gives them the edge is the personality each brand emits. & that, my friend, is only achievable through branding. :)

Perhaps Nike does the best comparatively. In the sporting field, people seek for courage and freedom through sporting. Nike's tagline: "Just do it" has been around for years and has created this idol for sportsmen and sportswomen around the world. Its elegant swish-tick on the sportsman communicates the feel of a cool-adaptive idol. Definitely a feel everyone would want.

Adidas plays in a different line. With it's tagline, "impossible is nothing", Adidas' brand preaches to break the limit within each sportsman. With its three stripes, a sportsman is "transformed" into power-animals that are capable of pushing it to the very last drop of sweat. It gives the sportsman an aura of the feel of being motivated, simply desirable.

The 2 major brands have been competing for a long time now. If you look at it plainly, they're just t-shirts and shoes. But the power of branding has imprinted some magic of higher-level in these simple shoes that give people 'powers' when wearing them. Thats the power of branding. Thats why I wear Nike (:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel.

Children and Socializing

2009-06-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

An infact is usually and always born without a culture or norm. As we are all social animals, we are bound to socializing 24/7. Without friends and peers, there is no survival for us. When the child is growing, especially in the early stages of childhood, they tend to experience the most intense socialization period as they will be attending school and making new friends. They will need to learn the basic cultural techniques. Looking at the people and the world around us, different parents have several techniques of their own to nurture their children on socialization. So that their children are well taken care of and they don't land in the wrong society.

One of the most famous ways of socializing is the formal education methods. Children are educated in a classroom environment. They interact with friends and teachers as they learn on a daily basis. They make new friends and discover new stuff daily as they are being educated also. This is a typical today's scenario.

Another form of socializing method is the informal education. Informal education is what we call "home-schooling". Some might consists of a small group of students in a private environment and others might just be a person-to-person teaching. This is not so encouraged by our society as children will not learn to make friends and they will be bound within the walls of their home and their parents. Every child needs an environment that is condusive enough for fun learning so that it encourages learning. This is a good way to get rid of boredom as children get bored easily.

Morever, parents should encourage group activities especially on weekends. This is to help develop the child's mental ability as well as strengthening them physically. With these healthy activities like camping and visiting the parks on weekends, children will have a fresh mind throughout the week. It will encourage them to absorb study material better.

As we age further in the world, only females are taking lead of children's socialization. For example, in a day care centers, most nannies are females and at home most mothers are concerned for their kids when it comes to finishing up school homework and studying. Also, in neighbourhoods we can see that most baby-sitters are teenage girls. This is because the understand the whole idea of child development. Parents should encourage their children to mix around with every other kid to encourage cross-cultural socialization. These children will be exposed to different cultures and they will be able to accept friends no matter where they come from. This is a very important measure, so it should be taken in consideration right from the early stage of a child's childhood.

Chilren can be sent to churches on weekends. It will be another technique of socializing. They will be given religious teachings as well as making them better beings in future. It starts from scratch. So parents, should watch their kids when they are young and not when they are all grown up. Socializing is a very important element for a child. Parents should encourage them with it to avoid their kids to turn into anti-social freaks or computer nerds.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Language of Clothes

2009-06-14T04:43:00.001-07:00

Clothes play a very important part in each and everyone's life. Its essential for providing us with enough protection to cover elements of our body. Mostly it is used to cover very precious parts of our body. However, different nations have different perceptions towards the idea of clothes. For example, the tribesmen of Papua New Guinea wear a protection sheath over their private areas as it is a form of dress to them. According to them, they feel undressed without having that ornament on. However, recently laws have been made to ban such dressing as it seems to be obscene to the western culture. Instead, these people are advised to wear the Western underwear.

Not only that, some countries in the African region are yet to be exposed to the idea of wearing clothes. It is still something undiscovered as they roam around in leaves or sometimes nothing. However, to me, i feel dressing up and putting on clothes gives u an entirely different image. Clothes makes u feel presentable in the crowd. Besides that, clothes actually signals us about an ocassion. For example, if you bump into a guy with an Armani suit and a briefcase, this will clearly state that he might be attending a business meeting or he might be working in a corporate environment. This is also related if you come across a beautiful lady dressed up in a ball gown and it will definitely send a message to your brain saying she might be attending her prom event.

Morever, clothes can also be worn with the idea of showing intentions, status and other hidden messages. For example, women in the North America are free to dress according to how they want to. Some might wear a micro-miniskirt and some might wear a tank top revealing the belly button. This might convey message to others that she wants to sexually attract them. This might be true and this might not be as it might just be part of their culture. North Americans dress differently for business as well as recreational activities.

Putting on different types of clothes can change the behaviour of a person. For example, if one is to wear a military uniform, doctor's lab coat or a police hat, they will have a different personalithy wholly when wearing it. It gives them a chance to show authorit towards you and there is a hidden message behind it that tells you that "hey i'm in charge!"

Ornaments and decorations on clothes can also add to the idea of sending out messages to others about one's personality, status or authority. Ornaments like crown, ribbon and bow. For example, a beauty queen can always be differentiated with a beautiful piece of glittering crown placed on her head. Similarly, hairstyles will definitely relate to one's clothings. This can be seen in the English "punkers". They have hair of different shapes, sizes and colours. We can easily pick and point that they are one of the punkers as the body tattoos, piercings, clothes and hairstyles gives us the whole idea of it

To sum up, clothes can make a huge difference on one's image. If you have your own sense of dressing, it is completely fine but it should be acceptable to the society as it might ruin your image. So, beware of the fashion cops around you!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

The symphony of nonverbal behaviour

2009-06-07T11:24:00.001-07:00

Non-verbal communication has its' very own sophiscated silent symphony. This is because without a word being spoken and uttered, most of the time we are able to evaluate it correctly. A simple example is, what happens if everyone around us stops speaking and we had to only evaluate situations and act according to it depending only on movements of the person and without a word being said? Will we pull through this situation? The answer is definitely a 'YES'!

This is because daily we come across billboards, pictures as well as road signs that enable us to read it, understand it, evaluate it and act to it. On the road, for example, we are directed with signboards. There is nobody to explain to us the meaning of a direction or the destination we are heading to. Our brains automatically evaluates that messages and allows us to quickly respond to. It is indeed a very smart and brilliant form of God's creation. So this actually proves the fact that, most of the time we are unconcious that nonverbal communication is being used. It is simple unintentional! Also, when we blush, frown, smile and grin, shows non-verbal behaviour. This is because, emotions plays a huge role in contributing to this factor.

Of course, non-verbal is not always intentional. Doing it for intentionally makes it look way more ridiculous than it might seem. Pretending to not speak or using hand gestures unnecessarily, for example, is a form of intentional non-verbal communication.

The pictures above shows two little children. They look contented and happy. One is feasting to her candies and the other is happy about his gifts. Without actually doing anything, we can simply tell what the picture means. For example, the Monalisa (painting), it is being evaluated in different angles by different people. It carries many meanings. Paintings are much more complicated because painters devote alot of emotions and effort when painting. It results in a very sophisticated form of art. Unlike paintings, pictures can be easily evaluated especially when it involves an innocent little kid as kids only exhibit true emotions. There is no lie hidden on their face.

To conclude, non-verbal behaviour is a very significant on an everyday basis. It is used for everything but it must also be used in a correct manner as it will show a different meaning if it is done a wrong way.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Successful Listener

2009-06-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

Listening and hearing are often related to each other. Many people claim that both carry the same meaning. However, both differ from each other. To begin with the compare and contrasting, let's evaluate what listening is. Listening basically means the act of listening or being attentive to something soundly. On the other hand, hearing means being able to perceive sounds. It might sound very much similar. Listening involves messages that being received by our ears to be transmitted to the brains for further evaluation. Hearing can be just hearing a sound but not evaluating it. So, this is how they vary from each other.

Listening can be divided into many more sections.For example, content oriented, people-oriented, action oriented and time-oriented listeners. Content-oriented listeners are listeners that are very much interested in the quality of the message they hear rather than anything else as they only seek for important details to analyze the whole listening process. Besides that, people-oriented listeners are only focused about maintaining positive relationships and nothing else as they relate their speech with moods and feelings of others. Action oriented listeners who are only focused about their task at hand and they tend to spend time figuring out and evaluating messages while time-oriented listeners are always with efficiency. They are more particular about time issuess. Listening has a huge dimension if it is looked into.

Listening to someone's speech or talk isn't an easy task. The brains needs a high concentration as well as focus to evaluate and trasmit messages back to the brains. There are few steps that can be taken to be a great listener. First of all, don't judge prematurely. If you are not sure about what is being spoken, try to reconfirm it and not jumping into conclusions right away. Assuming things or arguing without appropriate facts will lead to embarassment to ourselves. If you are a hundred percent sure about what you are speaking and have a strong standing to it, then it is encouraged to argue on it if whatever being spoken goes against the actual correct facts.

Secondly, ask question. Being afraid is the main factor why many people have misconceptions about things. They are afraid to ask and later on they evaluate stuff without having the actual facts by putting in their own knowlegde to it. Ask questions doesn't disintegrate anyone or make you stupid. Infact, it makes you smarter because it adds to your knowledge level. Also, before asking, make sure it is a relevant questions. Asking questions without having any meanings will confuse the person who is being asked and you will definitely confuse yourself as well.

Finally, when listening to someone speak, make sure he/she finishes the speech or statement before you get into poking your nose. Interrupting into someone elses speech is also an act of being really rude. In the western culture, interrupting is very offensive. The speaker might feel discriminated when it is done so. Also, examine the speaker's evidence and reasoning before accepting to his/her facts. At times, whatever is being spoken might not be 100 % right. There might be error. After all, we are humans and its completely fine to make mistakes.

Therefore, I would like to conclude that being a succesful listener isn't a difficult task only if full concentration, effort and dedication is given to it. The secret to it is simple, if you know how to use it well.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Gopeng!

2009-06-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

Staying at Gopeng for 3 days and 2 nights was fun. With various dangerous places, we have to be cautious and observe well to avoid unfortunate accidents.

First of all, there are signs indicating beware of durians which are posted on the durian tree. But, it is hilarious because by the time we have to approach the trees in order to read these tiny words, we are already standing under these durian trees.

Besides, exploring Gua Tempurung has tell many signs. Some green line which are shaped on the higher wall of the cave indicated that it will be the water level during rainy season. Morover, we were aware that we are reaching the exit when we noticed sunshine ahead of us.

Thirdly, nonverbal communication was essential during water crafting. For people who drowned, they observed for any reliable objects to hold on like a friend's paddle instead of concentrating on voices.

With abundants of non verbal communication experiences, it have made this camping trip interesting.

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

The eyes, and its effects

2009-06-07T05:46:00.000-07:00

The eye is a huge give away in non-verbal communication. Above is an image of a simple research done to show how different eye directions indicate different meanings. This goes to show how non-verbal communication is a major controlling factor in the communication process.

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his top right, it indicates a Visually Constructed image.
Try imagining a green cow.

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his right, it indicates an Auditory Constructed sound. Its basically imagining a sound you've never heard of.
Have you ever heard what sound an ant would make?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his bottom right, it indicates a Feeling.
Do you remember how it felt when you plunged into the pool the other day?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his top left, it indicates a Visually Remembered image.
Can you give me directions from the HELP desk to McDonalds?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his left, it indicates an Auditory Remembered sound.
Does Dr. Paul have a harsh voice?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his bottom left, it indicates an Internal Dialog, as in how somebody would when talking to himself.
"Man this stuff is interesting"

This is how eye direction sometimes give away lies or doubtfulness. Say for example you asked somebody, "Have you ever owned a BMW before?", and he responds while looking to his top right, indicating a visually constructed image, you'd have a hitch he's just imagining stuff.

(: Good stuff, no?

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Flirting - more than words

2009-06-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

Body language plays more than 90% of the communication process, especially when it comes to flirting. I find this especially true, and so I decided to do a little research on the net. Here are some of the stuff I found particularly interesting.

Eye contact. When she makes eye contact with you from far across the room, and then steals occasional glances at you, you know she's interested. & when she makes eye contact with you and maintains it for a period of time, you know you've struck the pot of gold.

Light touches. This is especially true. When she walks by and holds your shoulder to get your attention, its a strong sign of attraction. Also true when she puts her hands on your knee when you're sitting beside her.

Smile. A genuine smile indicates she's happy to see you. Its as simple as that. However smiles on different intensities can bring different meanings, and somethings indicate flirtatious signs.

Pretending to be not interested. Is a sign that he's interested (note he). Well, most of the time. Sometimes you look her way, and when she looks back, bam you're looking at somebody else. If this happens to you, you know he's interested in you.

Here are just some of the prominent and interesting ones. Cheers!

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

A lie or a truth?

2009-06-04T06:21:00.000-07:00

Non verbal communication sends obvious messages that human perceives correctly or conversely. We could understand a non verbal communication due to past experiences akin to how we view on a driver and the driver's car. At times, i think it is better to live in lies and not finding the truth because, "The more I see, the less I know for sure."
( Credits to John Lennon/http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?name=truth )

We perceived that this car wraps the pole due to driving with tremendously high speed. Many previous car accidents occur because of this reason.

However, there would be exceptions due to a drunk driver, avoiding an animal running across the road or break malfunction.

Seeing this particular car would send an indirect way of opinion that the driver holds higher position in society. Besides, this driver is most probably a female as the colour of pink is much more preferred by women than men. Morover, the car's owner possesses characteristics which includes optimistic and brave.

A person who happens to be driving this car would be viewed as the owner although this person is actually the chauffeur.

Parked beside a street, a driver exercised the car horn in a short pitch which attracted a nearby person. This person who happens to stand beside this car would thought the driver wanted to greet him. He might also perceived the horn as a show off from the driver.

The fact is, the driver accidentally pressed on the horn with his hands because he laid his crossed arms on the stering.

An old man driving slowly on the left hand/first land, sends a message that he always drives steadily and safely at the speed of 30km per hour. He might as well gain empathy and admiration because old man has poor insights.

The truth is, driving like a F1 racer is his casuality on the road. Besides, he has to drive uncomfortably slow at that moment because his fuel is running very low that if he drives any faster, the car automatically stops moving.

With various scenarios described above, it is apparent that non verbal communication plays a potent role where it sends distinguish messages to different receivers and this messages might not be the truth because, pictures can deceive humans.

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

The Almost Perfect Language

2009-05-31T09:21:00.000-07:00

Sign language, a very unique form of creation compared to any other languages in the world. Uniqueness lies not in the words but in the physical movements. To begin with this, let me give you a brief introduction how sign language actually begun. It was first created by the French people and later adapted and developed in the United States by the deaf people. This language is not a spoken language however, its the blend of several signs that are compiled and made into words so that the deaf are able to see instead of listening.

Today, this sign system is known as the American Sign Language. It is known to be one of the most refined languages in the world. It dates back centuries ago, when the American Indians used signs to intertribal(between tribes) communication. This has nothing to do with the development of sign language among the deaf, but it is a significant collection of history that associates with this idea.

Different angles and movements of fingers are used to form alphabets and connecting them into a sentence. This is a form of manual commnucation. Most signs are used to represent things and objects and not one single word. Because there will be a need of many types of hand movements if it was to represent a single word. Therefore, to make it easier, a sentence can be formed with the blend of signs of objects, ideas as well as alphabets.

A person knowing how to evaluate sign language smartly and correctly are able to easily cross a language barrier. This is because they as normal beings are able to communicate with the deaf using this sign language rather than using normal spoken language which can only be heard by the ears. Most educational institutes today in the United States have sign language part of the education system. It is to your wish if you would like to take that up as one of your electives. It will be beneficially to us because it will be an advantage to us to communicate with the deaf. It can also be used as art in dance performance (Bharatanatyam) or new form of art in the performing arts field.

The deaf have made their language a very creative and interesting one to learn on. With the variety of language available today, i'm sure there will newly-born languages in the future maybe with just few words and signs or maybe with eye movement. It lies in the creator!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Body language

2009-05-31T07:55:00.001-07:00

Body language is an important factor in communication. It has even been said that politics has become 93% body language, and 7% politics. During the Nixon Kennedy Debate in the 1960, the first ever televised debate, the rules of politics has changed in such manner. After the debate, polls from the television audience indicated a landslide victory for Senator Kennedy. On the contrary, polls from the radio audience showed a landslide victory for Senator Nixon. It was said that Senator Nixon was sweating and looked in doubt during the debate. This proves how important body language has become.

In the video above we notice how politicians have been trained with body language skills to better present themselves. First, we notice Hilary Clinton, during a Q&A session during the presidential election campaigns. Here, we can see how she uses her body and her arm gestures to portray her confidence after being thrown with an uncomfortable question. She raises her voice, her arms are let forward, giving her the more 'in control' position. She stands up straight with her shoulders back, showing confidence in taking the question.

Next, a short clip showing Bill O' Reilly is shown. Notice how his lips are pressed together indicating a firm stand against the audience that are opposing his views or are in line with Hilary Clinton's. He does a 'bouncy' movement, as illustrated on the clip above, it further enhances his firm stand that he isn't backing down from his question, and maintains a confident stance. He puts his hands behind and puts his chin up, further proving this point.

Another interesting clip to note is Senator McCain's interview. Notice how he takes a more friendly stance (as mentioned by the illustrators) by leaning forward and giving that genuine smile. Just by doing that, he changes his stance and tries to win votes from a different perspective. This proves the importance of body language, even more so for politicians.

;)

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel.

Our best listener(s)!

2009-05-31T07:24:00.000-07:00

I think listening is an effort where a listener is providing opportunity for the speaker to tell the whole message. It is because a listening exercise might convert into hearing activity when human hears words which they disfavor or would not like to know. For example, a student would hear a History teacher talking throughout the class regarding biographies
of i-have-forgotten-what-i'd-learn-in-history instead of listening with their eyes, heart and undivided attention.

Secondly, a listener would be giving one's time to the speaker. For instance, live audience and tv listeners have listened to Tomok's confessions at final stage of One In A Million singing competition. In the process of listening to his stories, listeners are giving time to Tomok to tell his narratives and his requests. Given the chance to be heard, Tomok had change the perceptions of nation which resulted him as the champion from being the underdog.

On top of that, listening would create least expectations for the listener himself or herself. It is because the listener would hear words that might change their firm decisions. Namely, one would forgive the speaker due to the speaker's narratives about being late for a business meeting.

Lastly, listening would supply messages about the speaker's needs. Thus, we can help people like poor Africans after we listen to them.

More importantly,
we already have a credible listener from the start of our life because...
God always listens to us and our prayers!

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

Appearance & communication

2009-05-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Did you know that appearance matters a lot in human communication? This is because it sends a non-stop message to whoever that's looking. Think of it as a portable broadcast station, wherever you go, your overall appearance sends these signals to whoever in your line of sight. Now that you know of this, your appearance can be manipulated to send different messages. What makes your message stronger or weaker depends on how you 'stand out from the crowd'.

The easiest way to set up a proper appearance is by dressing up. When a girl walks down the road in KL wearing a dazzling dress. She's definitely sending out a message. However the positivity of the message still lies within the receiving ends. People might like it, or people might think she's overdressed to be walking in KL like that. Guys might fall in love with her, or guys might have a lust for her (which is dangerous). Which is why knowing what you're dressed for is important. You don't want to be sending out the wrong messages.

But dressing isn't the only part. Appearance is also strictly governed by behavior. Sometimes, how you behave sends out a stronger or even contradicting message with how you dress. You might be dressed in a suit, with a dazzling tie; but if you can't speak with elegance, you send a stronger and more prominent message to the people around you, and that contradicts the elegant appearance you were trying to send out.

So the next time you decide to go to a public place, think about your appearance. It definitely matters. That's why people can attract people without even trying. Or how someone tries to attract someone but sends out the wrong message. Its all got to do with appearance.

(:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

The ever deceiving smile

2009-05-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

You looked my way and gave me a smile,
A simple one I'd never forget,
It pained my heart, yet it made me smile,
It almost killed, but you don't know that.

Just that smile, that simple smile,
So easy to look at, yet it ripped me apart,
It left me in pain, lost walking for miles,
A bittersweet sting that pierced my heart.

I don't know what feelings resided in your heart,
Once, i felt sure, I lost you from the start,
But then you looked my way and gave me a smile,
Your actions leave me dazed, stranded, almost exile.

I've lost, I'm stripped of my once proud honor,
You're filling me with feelings I can never forget,
You've left me in love, deep down in my heart,
In love with you, but you don't know that.

-Dudu-
7th May 2007

Have you ever been deceived by the ever-popular smile? I have. The poem you see above was written for a girl I fell head over heels for. FYI, I didn't succeed in getting her. It took me almost a year to get over that, too. Why? Because of her occasional smiles.

To start off, lets define the smile - to assume a facial expression indicating pleasure, favor, or amusement, but sometimes derision or scorn, characterized by an upturning of the corners of the mouth.

The smile is a form of expression. It communicates different meanings when used in different situations. Traditionally, smiles were the give away of personal pleasures or amusement. For example, if I saw Damian slip on a banana peel and fall, I'd smile to myself in amusement. & if Damian saw my smile, he'd probably know I was amused with his feat. See? Its a give away. You can't help but smiling, showing your intentions.

But then the smile can also be manipulated. It could be as simple as saying "hi" to someone in the morning. A smile is then added, to give it the extra friendliness & to promote a false happiness in the environment. A smile for a good cause, I would say.

& then there's the smile that you give to somebody of the opposite sex that is stealing glances at you. Now this one can get dangerous. I can safely say, this one communicates hope, whether intended to or not. Don't smile back unless you ARE intending to let the other person know you are pleased by his actions. I was a direct victim of this. I fell for a girl completely for her smile. When I couldn't get over her, it was because I kept remembering her face, smiling at me. Disgusting, i know.

Smiles mean different things. Its a way of communicating, and sometimes can be rather vague in meaning. The idea is to realize this, and becareful when somebody smiles at you next time.

Cheers. Smile =)

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Beauty & The "Ballet"!

2009-05-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

While surfing the net, a picture displayed on a website caught my attention right away. To me, i felt a connection with it. because it was a picture of a thousand words It was just a picture of a couple performing a ballet dance. The performance was inspired by Walt Disney's Beauty & The Beast, a true classical cartoon which was spiced up with loads of romance.

Let me give you a short introduction on the term "ballet". Ballet is a type of dance that was firstly originated from France, around the 15-16th century period. It was later on developed in countries like Italy and England. This type of dance fascinates me a lot not only because of the cute little outfit the ballerina wears but itis the deep meaning behind every movement of the ballerina as well as her gestures and postures. It simply feels like the ballerina is trying to convey a message to her audience with simple hand and feet gestures.

Today, "Disney on Ice" is very much liked by millions of spectators because of the beauty in the movements the performers have got for their audiences. It uses mostly the concept of ballet dancing but on ice!. Most parents have found it a very great form of exercise for their young children as it retains the body's flexibility. That picture shows a ballet story performance, which means a classical story which have been brought to live and recited in a dance routine with the use of ballet steps. It's amazing how people even think of such ideas. It is simply like bringing a drama to stage. This shows a very clear form of non-verbal communication. It uses hand gestures, eye contact and other physical movement along with a background music to tell the story to the audience.

This type of classical ballet stories are very interesting because there are always hidden meanings that the spectators will have to figure out by themselves. A close attention is needed in order to figure out the whole performance that is being staged. Usually the whole performance will be inspired by a specific character and the ballerina will be dressed in similar color or outfit the character wears, this helps the audience to figure out the character that is being used for that performance.

I'm definitely a huge fan of ballet dancing. It expressess a variety emotions and feelings that cannot be said through words. Hand gesture as well as physical movement plays a huge part in this dance. This is why its a different type of dance from all others because a ballerina is always seen as a very graceful person due to her distinct body language.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Language unites us

2009-05-24T06:07:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday, I've realized the importance of language. I saw a Malay lady in her twenties sitting at a table. I've went to sit with her of all the empty tables that were available at that time-being. While waiting for my food to be served, we had a few light conversations. Soon, her parents came and sat down with us. Honestly, i think if she were another person, she would have speak negation by politely tell me that the seats are occupied. Yet, when her parents came, uncle and aunt said Hi as well as Lina introduced them to me.

Throughout our talk, Lina and uncle have used English language to speak to me. Their language proficiency in a foreign language signifies working class people. At times, Lina has to perform language divergence to share our conversation with aunt. This scenario has made me aware that it is language that unite all of us regardless of race, country, culture or gender. The fact that both genders perform different conversational styles is also authentic. As an acknowledgement for their act in parting to me, Lina expressed "bye". On the other hand, uncle said "nice to meet you!".

Another doubt has poped in my mind again after that situation. What if we have all speak distinct slangs and jargons?

I think the conversation would transform slightly.=)

Communication gave birth to language. Subsequently, language is the reason for various worldwide professions. Namely, jobs that include psychologists, magazine editor and broadcast readers. Moreover, language is use by businessman to manipulate the minds of other business dealers and customers. Influential or powerful words used by children across the world to persuade their parents on buying their indulgements are in the forms of "please", "may" and "would".

I would like to end here with an attractive quote by Julia penelope. "Language forces us to perceive the world as man presents it to us."
( credits to http://www.quotegarden.com/language.html)

Thank you.

Composed by Ho bee Ling, Gervenne

The power of music in communication

2009-05-24T05:06:00.000-07:00

Music - an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

Music is a form of expression. In more ways than you can think of, music is a powerful form of public communication. The rhythm of the music, when heard even from afar, draws and attracts attention, and then conveys a deep message. The best thing about music is that it is not just heard, but it is felt. I quote, "Music is the slow descent from reality to fantasy in which everything becomes a blur". When you feel the groove of music, your body automatically reacts. A unique form of communication indeed.

Music is also a language. Not everybody can feel music. Therefore music becomes a universal language that only a group of people can understand. It does not matter where you live in; Africa, England, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia; Music is universal. Put different people speaking different languages in the same room with some drums and some bells; what do you get? Communication- at its highest form.

Music can be shaped like gel to perform different functions. A good use for music is that it can communicate hope. This can be seen in religious groupings. Churches form choirs or bands that sing, or get the public to sing with them. The songs they sing can bring inspiration, motivation and hope in heightening levels. Take for example Taylor Swift's - Love story song, originally a country song. In the youtube video above, it was "gelled" into something else, giving a more hopeful and peaceful sound through the piano and cello.

The meaning of music always lies in the receiving end's interpretation. This is what makes music so unique, one sound- different meanings.

I love music. Don't you?

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

The Secret Language Of Our Eyes...

2009-05-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

Even though there are loads of ways to find out if a person is telling the truth, but the fastest way to detect a lie is by reading one's eyes. Eyes holds a very deep and meaningful language that can never be versed through words. There are also people that can read one's mind by just staring deep in their eyes. Our eyes speaks the language of its' own. In fact, our eyes are one of the most important part of our body as it detects sight. Therefore, caring for eyes is essential.

Eyes can easily exhibit lies as well as a level of intense affection if you are attracted to someone. In simply words it reflects truth and affection clearly in the eyes. Most people have the tendency to look away when they are hiding a truth or telling a lie. They are just not capable of looking straight in the eyes of the person they are lying to. However, locking our eyes continuously in a scenario will just make us feel more aggressive and will affect the tranquility around us. That's the main reason why we actually can't look right into the eyes of others for a long period of time.

In some cases, it is acceptable to look away while conversing with someone but in most cases it is advised to as it shows how much genuine is there in the speaker's speech. For example, in one study carried out in America, it is shown that children have a higher possibility to answer all question correctly if they look away from the questioner. It devotes more brain power. In this scenario it is truly acceptable. However, it is unlikely to be the case if your mom stares at you asking you, "where were you last night?".

The direction of where the eyes look is also very important. Some scientists have said that the direction of the eyes detects whether you are telling the truth or simply spinning a tall tale. According to few research carried out, if someone that is looking to the left when questioned about a thing is simply telling a lie because the left part of the brains works on creativeness and this means they are trying to imagine something. However, if a person looks to the right, where the less-creative part of the brains works, it means they are thinking of the truth and not making up things. But this don't necessary mean that whatever being uttered from the mouth is all truth. It depends all on the speaker and how truthful can they can be.

Something that amuses me a lot about eyes is the pupil dilation. Pupil dilation is when your pupil grow larger. Most commonly in situations like when the person you're attracted to passes by, your pupils start to dilate or when u enter into a dark room. As you have seen in most cartoons, characters are drawn with dilated pupils to make them look more attractive and adorable to fascinate kids. Imagine, "Bambi"!. Now I know the actual reason behind why women use to drop Belladonna into their eyes.

To sum up, eyes say a lot. It only takes the effort and time to master the skill of reading it!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Language can...

2009-05-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

Language is powerful in persuading, efficient in concealing a truth and sufficient to create mutual understanding in people.

Quote: "Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest."

(credits to http://www.scorequotes.com/rankings.php)

One of the potentials which a language can carry weight on us is its capability to influence, confuse and inspire humans. Language may be structured in forms of quotes, poems and speech. For example, the above quote used euphemism to roughly illustrate that a man has to be very wealthy to catch the opposite gender's attraction. Moreover, the relative words in this sentence, "a lot of money", would puzzle us as in how much money could signifies a lot of money as well as "a lot of interest" may play a riddle with the number of people which a man could charm. Besides, this quote might reflect on man to strive harder in their career to achieve riches in order to "generate a lot of interest."

Of course, a statement that bears no evidence would just remain as an opinion statement and a persuasive statement. For instants, this quote is obviously a biased statement. Many women

(maybe majority) will oppose strongly towards this statement. Wealth is not the most important element in a woman's criteria compared to bond and harmony. How strong a praise or a blame is being placed on a person or a group of people will be determine by demonstrative pronouns. Using"they" instead of "these people" in this quote would lay less emphasize on those people involved.

On the other hand, this sentence might means as long as a man perseveres at keeping a lot of money in his bank account, he will definitely accumulate much interests which is granted from the bank.This statement is true to its meaning in this way. Therefore, a sentence could provide different meanings which represents the presence of semantic rules as meanings lie in people but not in words.

Secondly, language is interesting for its ability to cover a "less favourable opinion" and hold back a truth or many truths. Thus, human could manipulate a story or conversation by using equivocation words. For instants, you would like to address an individual as a mature person rather than old. Besides, a plump person would be referred to as a person who thinks weight is just a figure. Words order in a sentence which applies syntatic rules may also mask the identity of the responsible person. An honest criminal will admit "I stole the money." Conversely, a "less honest" criminal may answer "The money was stolen from the shop." True, the fact is that the specified amount of money is gone.

Yet, who did it?=)

Furthermore, language is essential to craft understanding, clarify an issue and express emotions. With language, I am able to pen down my point of view and read other people's perceptions too. Moreover, language aids communication. With the existence of language, humans have no barrier in communicating and conveying our needs as well as wants. A world without language to human is akin to a glass as a blockade in between people. Lastly, worldwide governments use language to declare, spread news and give confirmation to an issue. With accurate and clear vocalizations, a message will be spread throughout effectively. Adding on, human exercises language to verbalize their feelings. An example of low context cultures is "Thank you", a commonly used phrase to denote appreciation.

As a bottom line, we should make good use of language for language is a special gift and language symbolizes us, human.=)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

Holding Hands

2009-05-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

Holding hands. Yet another form of non-verbal communication. Hand holding is an intriguing form of communication. It is a continuous process that involves two people voluntarily holding hands for a particular reason; which include:

expressing friendship/love
physical intimacy
emotional support
guidance
to show togetherness
to urge to follow

My post today will cover mainly about my experiences with holding hands with other people, particularly with people of the opposite sex (keeps things interesting). Holding hands can be a tiresome process. Especially when it comes to holding hands when you're going out with a girl you like.

At first, you have to communicate to the girl that you intend to hold her hand. However, doing this verbally can make situations awkward, and therefore solely depends on behavior and signs. During my early years in high school, I remember doing so by swinging my arms when walking next to her, and then occasionally brushing against her hand when I do so. It never brought the same results each time I did it. Sometimes the girl would distance herself from me, thinking that she was walking too close to me (bummer). Sometimes I hit the jackpot; when I get a response from her hand constantly brushing against mine. (at this point I normally take this as a hint to hold her hand)

Getting the hands to hold yours isn't the ultimate challenge. There is also the part of letting go. Letting go implies different messages; thus making it another form of communication.

What do you do if your palms are sweaty?

What if she lets go of your hands because she saw something she liked and rushed at it when you're walking at a mall?

If she lets go off your hand, does it mean she rejecting you? Or is it just because her palms are getting sweaty? And then what kind of response should you give? If you don't hold her hand again after that, it would be safe, but then what if that wasn't her intention? As you can see, theres plenty of room for mis-communication to happen here.

In today's society, holding hands bring forth a variety of intended messages. So much so, it becomes confusing. For instance, take the following case:
1: "If I hold her hand on our first date, would that make things seem like its going too fast?"
2: "If I don't hold her hand on our first date, would she think i'm a coward?"

Holding hands is definitely an issue to be thought about.
Think about it.

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

2009-05-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

I know this subject is called Human Communication, but just a few days ago, i was surfing the net, and suddenly i came across this article about non-human living organisms communication. Have you ever wondered to yourself, how non-human living organisms communicate? Today, i'll be talking about how the plant and fungi communicate.

Among plants, communication is observed within the plant organism, i.e. within plant cells and between plant cells, between plants of the same or related species, and between plants and non-plant organisms, especially in the rootzone. Plant Roots communicate in parallel with rhizombia bacteria, with fungi and with insects in the soil. This parallel sign-mediated interactions which are governed by syntactic, pragmatic and semantic rules are possible because of the decentralized "nervous system" of plants. As recent research shows 99% of intraorganismic plant communication processes are neuronal-like. Plants also communicate via volatiles in the case of herbivory attack behavior to warn neighboring plants. In parallel they produce other volatiles which attract parasites which attack these herbivores. In stress situations plants can overwrite the genetic code they inherited from their parents and revert to that of their grand- or great-grandparents. Fungi communicate to coordinate and organize their own growth and development such as the formation of mycelia and fruiting bodies. Additionally fungi communicate with same and related species as well as with nonfungal organisms in a great variety of symbiotic interactions, especially with bacteria, unicellular eukaryotes, plants and insects. The used semiochemicals are of biotic origin and they trigger the fungal organism to react in a specific manner, in difference while to even the same chemical molecules are not being a part of biotic messages doesn’t trigger to react the fungal organism. It means, fungal organisms are competent to identify the difference of the same molecules being part of biotic messages or lack of these features. So far five different primary signalling molecules are known that serve to coordinate very different behavioral patterns such as filamentation, mating, growth, pathogeneticity. Behavioral coordination and the production of such substances can only be achieved through interpretation processes: self or non-self, abiotic indicator, biotic message from similar, related, or non-related species, or even “noise”, i.e., similar molecules without biotic content.

Done by: Bryan Lim

Hand Gestures!

2009-05-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

Gestures are a form of body language or non-verbal communication. Although some gestures, such as the ubiquitous act of pointing, differ little from one place to another, most gestures do not have invariable or universal meanings, having specific connotations only in certain cultures. Different types of gestures are distinguished. The most famous type of gestures are the so-called emblems or quotable gestures. These are cultures specific gestures that can be used as replacement for words. Communities have repertoires of such gestures. A single emblematic gesture can have very different significance in different cultural contexts, ranging from complimentary to highly offensive.

There are many types of hand gestures such as the A-ok, Air Kiss, Thumbs Up, High Five, Namaste, Hook em' Horns, and etc. I'm going to explain one of the hand gestures, and we'll look deeper into it and not forgetting, how we apply and use it in our daily life. The hand gesture i'll be talking about is the V Sign! :)

The "V sign" is made by lifting and separating the middle and index finger with the palm of the hand facing the recipient (and the remaining fingers clenched). It was associated with the catchphrase "V" for Victory in World War II. It was associated with British prime minister Winston Churchill during World War II, and later, with U.S. president Richard Nixon. In the 1960s, it came to be known as the sign"peace", the gestural equivalent of the peace symbol. This sign is frequently used by the Japanese, most times holding up 2 "V" signs very close to either side of their face with a big grin during pictures. In the UK, Australia, New Zealand, and some other countries, reversing the V sign so that the back of the hand faces the recipient is seen as the equivalent of giving the finger. In these cultures, it is often referred to as the "two finger salute". Popular myth supposes it was originally a taunt by Welsh longbow archers (fighting for the English) made towards the French who were known to cut off an archer's first and middle fingers if captured.

Done by: Bryan Lim (:

Wink...

2009-05-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

Wink! Another very important body language which carries a label full of meanings.

Winking is an action done by us, humans. We come cross men, to be more precise doing it for several unknown reasons. On everyday situations, i'm sure you have come across someone on the streets doing that to you and i'm also sure that you will just stop and wonder why is he doing that or simply ignoring him completely. A wink just means a simple facial expression made by briefly closing one eye. Many people are mistaken a wink to a blink. Both differ from each other.

Winking can carry loads of meanings. As usual, different cultures take it differently from their own perspectives. As stated by wikipedia, western cultures analyze it from a different view. They use it while communicating with a sexual intention, ranging from flirtations to an explicit invitation. On the other hand, the Asians especially Indians from India claim it to be a very offensive gesture.Some think that it may show a symbol of being a pervert with explicit intentions while others may view it as a private joke or something of similar terms being shared. In the Latin American culture, its similar to the American culture but they view it as a romantic gesture and done widely among friends. So it's an act of being friendly if you have been winked at in Brazil or Argentina.

Winking might be taken for fun. However, there are children or adolscents who wink unvoluntarily or unwillingly because they are going through stress. It's a form of defect. It is advised that winking should not be done if it's not accepted anyhow by anyone. Most people might not take it willingly. It's an obscene act and so, you people please stay out of winking. You can blink but not wink!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Sharper Than Words...

2009-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

Something that amazes me most about our own human race, is the fact that we use gestures or in simple terms "body language" when communicating with each other in our daily life. To most of us its something habitual and an unavoidable form of act. However, to the rest of us its our individual "style" or to teenagers it's often known as a "cool" act to display a particular body language while communicating. Gestures are usually categorized as a form of non-verbal communication. It can be combined with verbal communication or simply can be done just like that without words being said. Different people have different perceptions towards this term as it carries a variety of meaning like motion of body, movement of body and etc..

In my humble opinion, gestures have everything to do with emotions, feelings as well as expressions. It is also obvious that gestures play its important role depending on a situation that's occuring at that particular period of time. In most cases, it has played a very important role culturally. For example, ample of gestures are used in the classical indian dance which is more closely known as the Bharatanatyam dance which originates from the southern state of India, Tamil Nadu. In this dance, the performer uses his/her eyes to coordinate with the beat of the song while exhibiting an extraordinary movement with his/her hands and feet. These physical movements are simply known as gestures! It's fascinating how spiritualized performances relates closely to gestures! Not only that, even the Modern Jive and Salsa rhythms together with flexibillity and gestures. In short, i would like to say that gestures has everything to do with every form of dance, as long you are moving and shaking!

Gestures can affect us in many different ways. It is very momentous to show the correct gesture at an appropriate timing. This is will help to prevent any misconceptions. Besides that, it is also significant to know about the acceptance of gestures in different societies in the world. Some might display an act of obscene and some might exhibit an act of peace and harmony. One should be very well-versed before using them. According to some research done, smiling is a universally accepted gesture. Understood and known by every society and culture in the world but there are cultures that have logic reasons for smiling. For example, the Japanese might smile when they are dealing with a great depth of confusion or anger. In Asia, Asians will most probably smile when they are embarassed due to shyness. In the United States, smiling might not be accepted by everyone. It might not be known as a tool of friendliness but it is often reserved for close friends and family. Therefore, it is important to see situations and learn about gestures used by people around the world. It can be really funny how gestures are seen from different angles by different people.

An important character that reminds me deeply about gestures is the mime. What are mimes? Basically mimes are people are who use mime in the field of performing arts, which involves acting out a story line through body movements and motions without speech. In the streets of France, mimes are very easily found doing performances in order to gain a few pennies a day.

To sum up, I would like to say gestures are widely used in the everyday situation. We use them every second when expressing a thought or idea, when dancing, when singing, when crying or even when eating and sleeping. They can be of great use especially when it has to do with expressing a deep thought. Use it wisely and it might be more powerful than what words can even mean!

Toodles!.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Smile-always!, your best communicator, my finest symbol!=)

2009-05-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

I have a short experience that i would like to share in my earlier blogs. This episode has brought a deep message in me. To put my old friend's words in this composition demonstrates a token of appreciation to this individual.

I reminisce about an event which took place during the last few years. A random bus passanger had conducted a perception check on my face expression when we sat next to each other. "Why aren't you smiling? It ain't nice to see," inquired by this unknown person followed by a smile. I had verbalized my narratives by saying, "A smile is redundant and grant no gain." Since then, I had acquired abundants of "Smile Always!" statements through calls, short message service (SMS) and live conversations from this friend which then subsequently had led to dyadic communication. After a short period of time, we had diverged to our own chosen paths.

The following riddle has remained silently unsolved in me throughout these times that has developed involuntary intrapersonal communication. " Would i have obtained better series of events if i have potrayed additional smiles?"

My sole philosophy, "Smile Always!" has become a symbol to me. My smile represents my remembrance of my old friend and my determination to achieve eternal happiness.

For some parts across the world, smile is an image of success and pride. For instants, the smile of a recognized Russian astronaut was marked as an indication of space exploration era.
A source in Pravda.Ru says, "Gagarin became a legend while alive. He became world-famous after the USSR’s successful launch of world’s first-ever manned spacecraft. He did not have a vestige of the superiority complex because of his fame and will always be remembered as a simple, friendly man. His sincere smile symbolizes the beginning of the space exploration era for almost 50 years, since his historical flight on April 12, 1965."
Georgy Grechko, a cosmonaut complimented, “We remember him the way that he was – a handsome, responsible, hard-working and friendly person.”
(credits to http://english.pravda.ru/russia/history/09-03-2009/107206-gagarin-0)

Moreover, a smile would bring various positive perceptions to majority people. Is a smile contagious to you? By giving a smile, the receiver might interprete this message as a gratitude, encouragement or care. The scene of a pair of lips breaking into a beautiful smile on an ordinary person like Julia Roberts could generate charm and attraction. Thus, a smile is capable to enhance identity needs, practical needs, social needs and physical health needs like depression.

Adding on, a smile is helpful in reserving your current feelings, ignoring a non-constructive criticism and avoiding an argument. As a consequence, an individual might perform suitably in communication competence. A smile may also indicates psychologically to your friends and associates that you are a potent listener. Furthermore, a smile aids you to conceal an awkward emotion.

Last but not least, we can see a person's characteristic through their smile. Based on their smile, we could roughly judge whether they are cheerful, gentle, shy, optimistic, grateful or proud. These personalities can be observed clearly especially in photos. Let us take a look at HELP'S cover page on Foundation in Arts booklet. I think, being selected to symbolize this department would be a great honour to students. Thus, faces of deserved pride are seen on this fine picture.

Surely throughout the presence, if someone were to ask me, "Why aren't you smiling? It ain't nice to see." Without a second hesitation, I would not speak my narratives. I would like to plant a smile on my face as an answer.

Dear friends and readers,

here comes a beautiful quote.
“If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.”
( credits to http://thinkexist.com/quotations/smile/ )

My old friend and I casually ran into each other again during few days ago after a very long length of time. Well, the akin line of query that was once asked in the starting point of our friendship, were heard again from this old friend...
Could you predict my response?

"Smile always!" =)

Composed by Ho Bee ling, Gervenne.

Stress, delivers you communication!=)

2009-05-13T01:26:00.000-07:00

Stress is a feeling of uptight and anxiety on behalf of unsatisfactory circumstances. However, that is not what I will be talking about. STRESS, is his name. STRESS is someone's name.

The feeling of stress is an agitation to both our mental as well as health. Stress is obviously a less approval emotion to majority people. I have done a short survey on a handful of friends. They would prefer stress could sustain at a minimum level in them. Journey of life itself is hectic enough along with dilemmas which comprises financial difficulty, politic and treason. How would reading the word 'stress' alone sounds to you?=)

I beggar belief on the presence, STRESS, is authentic on earth as a name. I have made abundant of random search on this name in the internet which then resulted a USA resident who has this name, STRESS. An intrapersonal communication occurs in me when I deliberate over the possibility of his consequences for having this noncomforming name. For instance, if STRESS is his valid name, will this name holder add needless burden through psychologically in himself? Would this name, STRESS, be the blame for his loss of social support networks?

A name regularly determines first impression. By this, the name STRESS might generate self fulfilling prophecy in himself, associates and public. Therefore, communication progresses between two individuals where they use name as a subject or symbol. From here, a name like STRESS might enhance a new dialogue when STRESS's friend speaks his perception and interest of this name, STRESS. They might also practice empathy which serves an efficient communication. On the other hand, this scenario might turn ugly due to an opposite perception of humor and sympathy in STRESS's friend. For example, a new friend of STRESS may terminate this conversation without hesitation after STRESS introduces himself.There is also a chance that STRESS's friend would potray a hideous expression as a reaction. How this name, STRESS, influence one's impression on STRESS after hearing his name is similar to how the tidiness of a student's handwritting influence an examiner's perception of an essay's quality. These mental pictures have demonstrated interactions and body languages which form dyadic communications.

STRESS, is obviously a less preferred or even considered given name to an infant. An acceptable name is important to defeat internal distraction in the name owner himself. Again, some questions have poped up in my mind. How will a group of people response to hearing this name if they happen to come across it in the internet (like me) =) ? Could there be discussions posted in the internet regarding all the odd names in the world which include the name STRESS? If you were STRESS, would you reply to their comments to determine STRESS is not a strange name? Just by the name STRESS, public communication takes place between a group of people sharing the same interest and STRESS himself. Hopefully, the discussions will consist of good opinions and empathy.=)

Has a negative feeling already resides in you after reading numerous repetitions of this green word, STRESS? If STRESS is not an imaginary name, I admire him if he stays composed whenever people indicates an unpleasant reaction because of his name. Therefore, I would like to say, " welcome, Mr. STRESS!"=)

Composed by Ho Bee ling, Gervenne

Kissing- The language of lips

2009-05-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

Kissing: To touch or caress with the lips as an expression of affection, greeting, respect, or amorousness.
*defined by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Kissing is a form of dyadic communication. It is symbolic, and represents different expressions which are subjected to the interpretation of the receiving party. Depending on the situation, kisses express different meanings. In certain cultures, kisses or pecks on the cheeks are forms of greetings. The most generally perceived expression of a kiss is affection. In western marriages, after the vows have been exchanged and the wedding pronouncement given, the groom lifts the bride's veil and kisses her.

A game-breaking point to note is that kissing is formed by our culture, which means to say we are not born kissers - we learn it. Thus, kissing becomes a unique and complex "language". Kisses are very commonly used around the world (about 90% of us do it). But this means about 650 million people don't. Danish philologist Kristoffer Nyrop found that members of certain Finnish tribes bathed together completely nude, but considered kissing indecent. This disallows kissing to be a universally accepted language.

Furthermore, from the 90% of us who practice kissing as a form of non-verbal communication, cultural differences and beliefs further segregates and attaches different meanings in kisses. For instance, an "Eskimo kiss" involves rubbing noses, not touching lips. It is even reported that the Chinese found mouth-to-mouth kissing nearly as horrifying as we find cannibalism. Another example, quoted from wikipedia "The french kiss, involves romance and sexuality, in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue and usually enters his or her mouth".

Try googling "kissing" and you'll be surprised to see guides and tips with kissing. Thus we can safely conclude that kissing is in fact a language that we are all desperately trying to understand. It requires a lot of communication competence to be perfected and be accepted. The big question here is, how did we all get started with kissing in the first place? Perhaps it serves to satisfy our social needs? The truth can only be found beneath communication.

Exciting, no?

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel
Information retrieved from the net