Getting the message across; Part 2

My friend told me about his troubles. When he spoke, the problem was clear. & the solutions were clear as well. When he finished his story, I began to structure his problem, giving him a clearer picture. I know the importance of having a 3rd person point of view in solving a problem. It helps you see things you otherwise would not be able to see, or hear from yourself when you are thinking of your problem.

& so I told him "From what I can understand, this seems to be your problem"

"You are loaded with work, and your siblings are not helping."

"Your mother refuses to give them any work, and is giving it all to you."

"Therefore, you are now tasked to redistribute this work to your siblings, the task your mother originally had"

& then, I listed a few solutions that seemed possible at the time.

"You could run away from home, like you were planning to."

"You could talk to your mom, but lately she hasn't been hearing a word you say and she seems emotional as well"

"Or you could talk to your brother and your sister, and start to share the workload"

It was then obvious which option seemed the most viable and easy. However, as easy as it sounded, my friend could not bring himself to communicate with his elder brother. He was intimidated by his elder brother, & was actually scared of his own brother.

I then started to devise a plan, in which he could speak to his brother effectively. I started out by telling him to be assertive. The logic behind it was: He needed to get a message across. He has been suffering, and his brother has not been touched, he needs his brother to get work done. Simple as that. The reasons he had to back him up were enough to make an assertive stand. When I gave him an example on how it would sound like, it sounded effective. My tone was not high, but firm, and gave a sort of a 'punchy' effect. I pointed at him when I spoke, saying 'you need to get this done. This message needs to get across'. All this non-verbal ques boosted the effect of my messages. However, he pointed out that this was coming from me, and he could not reproduce such an effective assertive speech.

The problem was not with the content of the message itself. I now understood. He can say what I wanted him to say perfectly, but he just couldn't express the non-verbal ques that gave it the character. The importance of my intonation of speech, and how I pointed a finger at my subject when I asserted a message, brings a huge difference to the table.

That night, he spoke to his brother. He told me it went well, but his voice was shaking. He did not point or had a firm voice, but rather he sounded like he was about to cry when he spoke to his brother. When he said this, I wondered how it managed to work. He did not reproduce a level of assertion that would get a message across to his brother at all. However, I managed to understand at last. His body language communicated distress, and invoked sympathy and empathy. He was being a humble ambassador when he spoke, as if asking for help from a powerful source. This made his brother feel big and respectful, and thus agreed to help with the house work.

All this sounds like a small problem. But you'd be surprised at how big it became when my friend could not express himself appropriately. Its true that communication plays a vital role in our lives, and without it we simply cannot move on. I'm glad I now understand this, and I am able to use what I know to help others. (:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Getting the message across; Part 1

I had a talk with a friend 2 days ago. This friend was deeply troubled. He had 8 chores to do everyday when he got home from college, and this was tiring him out. He was becoming frustrated, because his 2 siblings, had 0 chores to do, and were just allowed to do anything they wanted. He was becoming a cinderella in he house, & he didn't know how to get the message across.

We were having dinner together in a Banana Leaf mamak together 1 night, when I suddenly noticed he was exceptionally quiet. It was a hint that something was up in his mind, but nonetheless, too little to get me suspicious. Then, when we talked, he started to raise his tone uncontrollably in anger, then lowered it very low when he realized his own actions. His face could also show he was being emotional. All this was what it took to make me realize my friend was in trouble, and we needed to talk.

At first I asked, "what seems to be the problem?". But he refused to disclose. It was always his nature to "suck things up"; but was also his bad habit to suck the bigger problems up and never let it out as well. & I realized I had to get my friend to talk, or he would suffer from emotional stress. Knowing this, I had to do something else than just ask a question to get him to spill it.

And so I decided i'd apply my knowledge from my Human Communication lectures. I started off by leaning inward, and speaking with a lower tone, "friend, talk to me. Something is up, and im listening". I chose my words carefully, as I had an option of giving him a long speech, or just saying a short sentence. Something told me he wouldn't want to listen to a long speech, given he was being in that emotional state.

He then started to express himself, starting off with a huge sigh, like he couldn't get it out of his chest. His story begun not long after, & I was surprised at how big the trouble had grown and spiralled, since he was in secondary school. Should he have got the message across earlier, things might not have been too bad. Now he was already saving up money to move out of the house. I knew this was irrational, & started to offer my friendly advice.

The conversation would not have taken place if not for the bodily hints that he was giving to me unintentionally. Some body language is hard to read, but with the help of other non-verbal ques, such as his facial expressions, and how his tone was screwing up, the message became more obvious. I also had to show certain body language to get him to open himself to me, and choose my words wisely when I spoke. These are all important forms of communication, that eventually lead to my success in getting him to speak.

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Friends, or not?

Would you say, you are a true friend?







Would you say, you have true friend(s)?

One day,

you were holding a celebration party with 1,000 guests. Suddenly, 2 men appeared with guns. One stated his intentions, "people who still wish to not bless the party owner, may leave immediately without injuries". He then pulled the trigger.

Who do you think would stay with you, or runaway?

Out of these 1000 familiar guests?

Then, the man who had spoken, kept his gun and said to you, "Friend, I've chased your rebellious friends away. Have a great celebration!". They walked away.

In my perception, we often think we are assured of where we stand in friendships. However, a friendship could be jeopardized by some requests and these requests might not need repetition. Conflicts might not even exists to ruin a friendship. It takes only once for them to vanish in your life. Some people care for the consequences that might occur to their friends while out of that 1000 people, maybe majority might ignore or take advantages from that scenario.

Why?

Strange that people believe harmony is essential, but many constellations who should acquire help are not getting the help that they need. This circumstances is obviously shown in television and newspaper.

Strange that society believes in managing others' views on them but can commit mistakes that hurt friends, associates and God who really care for them.

Strange how one can put one's maximixed effort in initiating and moving on until bonding, but be the one who's terminating the friendship.

Strange how we believe friends who make empty promises but sometimes we distance ourselves from true friends who build constructive criticisms.

When silence take place for too long in between friends because of negative assumptions or unwillingness to support, the other party might perceive this silence as the friend's choice to leave him or her.
Because, a good friend always gives his or her friend the freedom of choice.

But,

when none from each side takes action to initiate a "Sorry!", "It's my fault too!", or "I need this friendship...",

I am afraid that there is no U-turn for you when you regret it.=)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

Compromise=)

We are under the same sky. Everything can be possibly beautiful, depending on how we view on one or an object. Whether we interpreted a message, something or someone as gentle, hideous, beautiful or cold.

Our perception on something is influence by the current environment, manner and appearance.

We might favour or approve something because it did not contrast with us. However, everything does not exist to blend with our behaviour or taste perfectly at the first place. To make it seem perfect, it takes sacrifices and compromises for them to conceal its ugliness, presents its best and satisfy our needs. Their reward would retrieving your acknowledgement, positive feedbacks, and endorsement rather than your isolation, ignorance and distancing. However, is their hidden effort in the process of getting these rewards from another person or public, which comprise struggles, physical pain and enormous effort to hold on to their belief, are worth it compared to their intended rewards?

In my perception, I think we, humans, should try to forgive and forget a person's wrong doings, occurance of confict, and misunderstandings. It is because we wouldnt have an idea how huge has one sacrifices for us, compliments being made regarding us in front of others, be patient with us, as well as spent time to understand and reminisce us.

I often think,

What is the use of power, if someone gets hurt?

What is the use of insult, if someone gets offended?

What is the use of fights, if the friendship is at risk?

What is the use of ignorance, when communication is an important element for human?

What is the use of keeping a smile, when it is an asset?

What is the use of hatred, when God has made this world so beautiful for humans?

As a conclusion, i think we should look beyond mistakes, because everyone compromises to give us the best, at least once.

Another reason would be,

we share the same sky.=)

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

How to request and how to reject, politely=)

There are 2 ways of communication that can aid us tell our needs or our demands to related person. Although we can convey a message faster through verbal communication, there are times, that non-verbal communication could perform better than verbal communication in the sense that it indicates a stronger message. The best benefit is especially when we want to tell some one about our request indirectly. For example, an employee would like to ask for salary raise. His method might be:

"Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company . I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,


The next day, the worker received this letter of reply :

Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly, Manager

(Joke taken from an email sender)

I think this method is a good idea to substitute his words, repeat his topic, avoid face-to-face expressions, keep a distance during this process, doesn't require an appointment, provides understood and effective message, spare the receiver some time before he reacts, and most importantly, works towards peace.

Non-verbal communication, effective?!

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

My song is my message

Everyone including one individual, 2 people, 3 good friends, or a group of people, keeps a song that represents their story. A song that resides in each of us, symbolizes a personal history that brings remembrance of its conflict, struggles, response, repressed feelings, happiness and expectations. All these feelings and circumstances generates communication unawarily, involuntarily, with intention or consciously in one.

A person would acknowlegde a song because of its lyrics and music that creates a feeling that caught attention and distract a listener. These lyrics may also contain situations and advices that the listener endorses to. Surely, one frequently listens to a song with numerous repetitions because one likes it and feels that this song is related to one lifestyle and story.

Besides, a good song, may be akin to an ongoing communication to a listener. It is because, a good song stays in one's memory. These voices and rhythm would replay itself unawarily in one's mind. A song may also place such a great impact on one that it always creates intrapersonal communication in one.

A song with the name, " Let the music heal your soul " by various singers, states a perception on how humans can react to a song.

"Oh if someone writes a song with a simple rhyme
Just a song where his feeling show
And if someone feels the same about the simple song
Oh sometimes you can hear them say
Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also, it also heals your soul

Chorus: Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control
Let the music give you the power
To move any mountain"

(credits to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh33J9OJ4pc)

A favourable song could decrease stress, motivate, hinder negative emotions, understand you, and make you smile without you noticing yourself. Moreover, Human needs different songs to blend with different environments. It is because these songs would reinforce one's feelings toward the environment.

A specific song may also stands for an ackowledgement between a few people. It tells these people involved regarding some narratives, assumptions and emotions that one would like to inform. Therefore, a song carries different meanings to different groups. A line says, "meanings lies in people, not in words" suits this idea best.

In conclusion, a song is a unique communication form that conveys messages and these messages are not as simple as words, slangs and jargons.
Or else, why would human dance, smile, or cry when they listen to a song?

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

What on earth is NVC? :)

NVC a.k.a Nonverbal Communication

Two weeks ago, we were given an assignment to film a 5 minute movie clip about anything with one criteria, which is to include nonverbal communication concept in it. Daniel, Gervenne, Jasneeta and I, as a group made a video showing how we as college students are so busy, and stressed, BUT, at the end of the day all we need is a Kit Kat. Have a break, Have a Kit Kat! :P

In this post, i'll just scratch the surface of Nonverbal Communication. Nonverbal Communication is understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages. NVC can be communicated through body language, posture, gestures, facial expression and many more. NVC can also be communicated through objects such as hairstyle, clothing and etc.

Here is a brief video i found from youtube which basically gives you a whole idea of nonverbal communication. So, enjoy!

Done by: Bryan Lim
22 June 2009

Rejection

Fear of rejection is common among teenagers these days, especially for a late teen like myself. I fear rejection especially so. I can't remember the countless times where I fumbled and struggled to be accepted amongst my peers, just to avoid the humiliation in public rejection. As a high school kid, I was never almost in-line with my classmates. Then it reached a stage where I thought to myself, "wait a minute, why do I have to succumb to their lifestyles?".

So I started to form a personality of my own. I didn't purposely do things I didn't want to do just to be accepted. Rather, I tried to form a seperate identity for myself and hope it would be something they would respect (or hopefully just not reject).

I started by being more humble. The way I walked, my body language, took form of someone not of any authority, but rather of simplicity. I used to walk with my hands in my pockets, signifying disclosure in pride in myself. Then I changed by taking my hands out, and started using more hand gestures when I speak. I immediately saw its effects. People saw me as more friendly and approachable.

Aside from that, the way I speak also changed. I decided that, in order to build a character people would listen to with respect, I would first need to gain that respect. So instead of speaking and expecting my opinion to count, I spoke as if nobody would listen, and tried to gain their approval humbly. Perhaps the difference in speech might not seem like alot. But the different approach I had in my mind made a huge difference in my speech pattern, and alot of people took notice. Soon, my opinions were being highly regarded, not only amongst my peers, but to the authorities in school as well.

How often I spoke changed as well. In my highschool years, my most commonly applied principle was 'a leader always listens'. In conversations, I was noticably quieter. When people spoke, I consciously listened. People liked this alot. & when it was my turn to speak, in turn, they listened as well. I also paid alot of attention to group discussions. During breaks, while everyone would be yapping at the canteen table, I would be pouring my attention into my own food, but listening. Rather pointless, you might think, but I gained alot of information on the different personalities people have, giving me leverage when I try to convince them for something. This, you can only get by listening.

Building character is a conscious process. Im glad I took my time and achieved what I wanted. Self improvement is the best way to live my life, period. :)

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

The power of powerful brands (:

What do Nike, Adidas, Reebok, Puma all have in common? They're the leading sporting brands around the world. These brands, they compete amongst the market to gain the public's awareness, but with what? The material and standard of the products produced by these companies are all equal. The only thing that gives them the edge is the personality each brand emits. & that, my friend, is only achievable through branding. :)

Perhaps Nike does the best comparatively. In the sporting field, people seek for courage and freedom through sporting. Nike's tagline: "Just do it" has been around for years and has created this idol for sportsmen and sportswomen around the world. Its elegant swish-tick on the sportsman communicates the feel of a cool-adaptive idol. Definitely a feel everyone would want.

Adidas plays in a different line. With it's tagline, "impossible is nothing", Adidas' brand preaches to break the limit within each sportsman. With its three stripes, a sportsman is "transformed" into power-animals that are capable of pushing it to the very last drop of sweat. It gives the sportsman an aura of the feel of being motivated, simply desirable.

The 2 major brands have been competing for a long time now. If you look at it plainly, they're just t-shirts and shoes. But the power of branding has imprinted some magic of higher-level in these simple shoes that give people 'powers' when wearing them. Thats the power of branding. Thats why I wear Nike (:

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel.

Children and Socializing

An infact is usually and always born without a culture or norm. As we are all social animals, we are bound to socializing 24/7. Without friends and peers, there is no survival for us. When the child is growing, especially in the early stages of childhood, they tend to experience the most intense socialization period as they will be attending school and making new friends. They will need to learn the basic cultural techniques. Looking at the people and the world around us, different parents have several techniques of their own to nurture their children on socialization. So that their children are well taken care of and they don't land in the wrong society.

One of the most famous ways of socializing is the formal education methods. Children are educated in a classroom environment. They interact with friends and teachers as they learn on a daily basis. They make new friends and discover new stuff daily as they are being educated also. This is a typical today's scenario.

Another form of socializing method is the informal education. Informal education is what we call "home-schooling". Some might consists of a small group of students in a private environment and others might just be a person-to-person teaching. This is not so encouraged by our society as children will not learn to make friends and they will be bound within the walls of their home and their parents. Every child needs an environment that is condusive enough for fun learning so that it encourages learning. This is a good way to get rid of boredom as children get bored easily.

Morever, parents should encourage group activities especially on weekends. This is to help develop the child's mental ability as well as strengthening them physically. With these healthy activities like camping and visiting the parks on weekends, children will have a fresh mind throughout the week. It will encourage them to absorb study material better.

As we age further in the world, only females are taking lead of children's socialization. For example, in a day care centers, most nannies are females and at home most mothers are concerned for their kids when it comes to finishing up school homework and studying. Also, in neighbourhoods we can see that most baby-sitters are teenage girls. This is because the understand the whole idea of child development. Parents should encourage their children to mix around with every other kid to encourage cross-cultural socialization. These children will be exposed to different cultures and they will be able to accept friends no matter where they come from. This is a very important measure, so it should be taken in consideration right from the early stage of a child's childhood.

Chilren can be sent to churches on weekends. It will be another technique of socializing. They will be given religious teachings as well as making them better beings in future. It starts from scratch. So parents, should watch their kids when they are young and not when they are all grown up. Socializing is a very important element for a child. Parents should encourage them with it to avoid their kids to turn into anti-social freaks or computer nerds.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

Language of Clothes

Clothes play a very important part in each and everyone's life. Its essential for providing us with enough protection to cover elements of our body. Mostly it is used to cover very precious parts of our body. However, different nations have different perceptions towards the idea of clothes. For example, the tribesmen of Papua New Guinea wear a protection sheath over their private areas as it is a form of dress to them. According to them, they feel undressed without having that ornament on. However, recently laws have been made to ban such dressing as it seems to be obscene to the western culture. Instead, these people are advised to wear the Western underwear.

Not only that, some countries in the African region are yet to be exposed to the idea of wearing clothes. It is still something undiscovered as they roam around in leaves or sometimes nothing. However, to me, i feel dressing up and putting on clothes gives u an entirely different image. Clothes makes u feel presentable in the crowd. Besides that, clothes actually signals us about an ocassion. For example, if you bump into a guy with an Armani suit and a briefcase, this will clearly state that he might be attending a business meeting or he might be working in a corporate environment. This is also related if you come across a beautiful lady dressed up in a ball gown and it will definitely send a message to your brain saying she might be attending her prom event.

Morever, clothes can also be worn with the idea of showing intentions, status and other hidden messages. For example, women in the North America are free to dress according to how they want to. Some might wear a micro-miniskirt and some might wear a tank top revealing the belly button. This might convey message to others that she wants to sexually attract them. This might be true and this might not be as it might just be part of their culture. North Americans dress differently for business as well as recreational activities.

Putting on different types of clothes can change the behaviour of a person. For example, if one is to wear a military uniform, doctor's lab coat or a police hat, they will have a different personalithy wholly when wearing it. It gives them a chance to show authorit towards you and there is a hidden message behind it that tells you that "hey i'm in charge!"

Ornaments and decorations on clothes can also add to the idea of sending out messages to others about one's personality, status or authority. Ornaments like crown, ribbon and bow. For example, a beauty queen can always be differentiated with a beautiful piece of glittering crown placed on her head. Similarly, hairstyles will definitely relate to one's clothings. This can be seen in the English "punkers". They have hair of different shapes, sizes and colours. We can easily pick and point that they are one of the punkers as the body tattoos, piercings, clothes and hairstyles gives us the whole idea of it

To sum up, clothes can make a huge difference on one's image. If you have your own sense of dressing, it is completely fine but it should be acceptable to the society as it might ruin your image. So, beware of the fashion cops around you!

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar =)

The symphony of nonverbal behaviour

Non-verbal communication has its' very own sophiscated silent symphony. This is because without a word being spoken and uttered, most of the time we are able to evaluate it correctly. A simple example is, what happens if everyone around us stops speaking and we had to only evaluate situations and act according to it depending only on movements of the person and without a word being said? Will we pull through this situation? The answer is definitely a 'YES'!

This is because daily we come across billboards, pictures as well as road signs that enable us to read it, understand it, evaluate it and act to it. On the road, for example, we are directed with signboards. There is nobody to explain to us the meaning of a direction or the destination we are heading to. Our brains automatically evaluates that messages and allows us to quickly respond to. It is indeed a very smart and brilliant form of God's creation. So this actually proves the fact that, most of the time we are unconcious that nonverbal communication is being used. It is simple unintentional! Also, when we blush, frown, smile and grin, shows non-verbal behaviour. This is because, emotions plays a huge role in contributing to this factor.

Of course, non-verbal is not always intentional. Doing it for intentionally makes it look way more ridiculous than it might seem. Pretending to not speak or using hand gestures unnecessarily, for example, is a form of intentional non-verbal communication.

The pictures above shows two little children. They look contented and happy. One is feasting to her candies and the other is happy about his gifts. Without actually doing anything, we can simply tell what the picture means. For example, the Monalisa (painting), it is being evaluated in different angles by different people. It carries many meanings. Paintings are much more complicated because painters devote alot of emotions and effort when painting. It results in a very sophisticated form of art. Unlike paintings, pictures can be easily evaluated especially when it involves an innocent little kid as kids only exhibit true emotions. There is no lie hidden on their face.

To conclude, non-verbal behaviour is a very significant on an everyday basis. It is used for everything but it must also be used in a correct manner as it will show a different meaning if it is done a wrong way.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Successful Listener

Listening and hearing are often related to each other. Many people claim that both carry the same meaning. However, both differ from each other. To begin with the compare and contrasting, let's evaluate what listening is. Listening basically means the act of listening or being attentive to something soundly. On the other hand, hearing means being able to perceive sounds. It might sound very much similar. Listening involves messages that being received by our ears to be transmitted to the brains for further evaluation. Hearing can be just hearing a sound but not evaluating it. So, this is how they vary from each other.

Listening can be divided into many more sections.For example, content oriented, people-oriented, action oriented and time-oriented listeners. Content-oriented listeners are listeners that are very much interested in the quality of the message they hear rather than anything else as they only seek for important details to analyze the whole listening process. Besides that, people-oriented listeners are only focused about maintaining positive relationships and nothing else as they relate their speech with moods and feelings of others. Action oriented listeners who are only focused about their task at hand and they tend to spend time figuring out and evaluating messages while time-oriented listeners are always with efficiency. They are more particular about time issuess. Listening has a huge dimension if it is looked into.

Listening to someone's speech or talk isn't an easy task. The brains needs a high concentration as well as focus to evaluate and trasmit messages back to the brains. There are few steps that can be taken to be a great listener. First of all, don't judge prematurely. If you are not sure about what is being spoken, try to reconfirm it and not jumping into conclusions right away. Assuming things or arguing without appropriate facts will lead to embarassment to ourselves. If you are a hundred percent sure about what you are speaking and have a strong standing to it, then it is encouraged to argue on it if whatever being spoken goes against the actual correct facts.

Secondly, ask question. Being afraid is the main factor why many people have misconceptions about things. They are afraid to ask and later on they evaluate stuff without having the actual facts by putting in their own knowlegde to it. Ask questions doesn't disintegrate anyone or make you stupid. Infact, it makes you smarter because it adds to your knowledge level. Also, before asking, make sure it is a relevant questions. Asking questions without having any meanings will confuse the person who is being asked and you will definitely confuse yourself as well.

Finally, when listening to someone speak, make sure he/she finishes the speech or statement before you get into poking your nose. Interrupting into someone elses speech is also an act of being really rude. In the western culture, interrupting is very offensive. The speaker might feel discriminated when it is done so. Also, examine the speaker's evidence and reasoning before accepting to his/her facts. At times, whatever is being spoken might not be 100 % right. There might be error. After all, we are humans and its completely fine to make mistakes.

Therefore, I would like to conclude that being a succesful listener isn't a difficult task only if full concentration, effort and dedication is given to it. The secret to it is simple, if you know how to use it well.

Compiled by Jasneeta Kaur Bhullar

Gopeng!

Staying at Gopeng for 3 days and 2 nights was fun. With various dangerous places, we have to be cautious and observe well to avoid unfortunate accidents.

First of all, there are signs indicating beware of durians which are posted on the durian tree. But, it is hilarious because by the time we have to approach the trees in order to read these tiny words, we are already standing under these durian trees.

Besides, exploring Gua Tempurung has tell many signs. Some green line which are shaped on the higher wall of the cave indicated that it will be the water level during rainy season. Morover, we were aware that we are reaching the exit when we noticed sunshine ahead of us.

Thirdly, nonverbal communication was essential during water crafting. For people who drowned, they observed for any reliable objects to hold on like a friend's paddle instead of concentrating on voices.

With abundants of non verbal communication experiences, it have made this camping trip interesting.

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne

The eyes, and its effects

The eye is a huge give away in non-verbal communication. Above is an image of a simple research done to show how different eye directions indicate different meanings. This goes to show how non-verbal communication is a major controlling factor in the communication process.

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his top right, it indicates a Visually Constructed image.
Try imagining a green cow.

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his right, it indicates an Auditory Constructed sound. Its basically imagining a sound you've never heard of.
Have you ever heard what sound an ant would make?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his bottom right, it indicates a Feeling.
Do you remember how it felt when you plunged into the pool the other day?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his top left, it indicates a Visually Remembered image.
Can you give me directions from the HELP desk to McDonalds?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his left, it indicates an Auditory Remembered sound.
Does Dr. Paul have a harsh voice?

If you ask somebody a question, and he looks to his bottom left, it indicates an Internal Dialog, as in how somebody would when talking to himself.
"Man this stuff is interesting"

This is how eye direction sometimes give away lies or doubtfulness. Say for example you asked somebody, "Have you ever owned a BMW before?", and he responds while looking to his top right, indicating a visually constructed image, you'd have a hitch he's just imagining stuff.

(: Good stuff, no?

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

Flirting - more than words

Body language plays more than 90% of the communication process, especially when it comes to flirting. I find this especially true, and so I decided to do a little research on the net. Here are some of the stuff I found particularly interesting.

Eye contact. When she makes eye contact with you from far across the room, and then steals occasional glances at you, you know she's interested. & when she makes eye contact with you and maintains it for a period of time, you know you've struck the pot of gold.

Light touches. This is especially true. When she walks by and holds your shoulder to get your attention, its a strong sign of attraction. Also true when she puts her hands on your knee when you're sitting beside her.

Smile. A genuine smile indicates she's happy to see you. Its as simple as that. However smiles on different intensities can bring different meanings, and somethings indicate flirtatious signs.

Pretending to be not interested. Is a sign that he's interested (note he). Well, most of the time. Sometimes you look her way, and when she looks back, bam you're looking at somebody else. If this happens to you, you know he's interested in you.

Here are just some of the prominent and interesting ones. Cheers!

Written by,
Goh Keng Yu @ Daniel

A lie or a truth?

Non verbal communication sends obvious messages that human perceives correctly or conversely. We could understand a non verbal communication due to past experiences akin to how we view on a driver and the driver's car. At times, i think it is better to live in lies and not finding the truth because, "The more I see, the less I know for sure."
( Credits to John Lennon/http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?name=truth )

We perceived that this car wraps the pole due to driving with tremendously high speed. Many previous car accidents occur because of this reason.

However, there would be exceptions due to a drunk driver, avoiding an animal running across the road or break malfunction.

Seeing this particular car would send an indirect way of opinion that the driver holds higher position in society. Besides, this driver is most probably a female as the colour of pink is much more preferred by women than men. Morover, the car's owner possesses characteristics which includes optimistic and brave.

A person who happens to be driving this car would be viewed as the owner although this person is actually the chauffeur.

Parked beside a street, a driver exercised the car horn in a short pitch which attracted a nearby person. This person who happens to stand beside this car would thought the driver wanted to greet him. He might also perceived the horn as a show off from the driver.


The fact is, the driver accidentally pressed on the horn with his hands because he laid his crossed arms on the stering.

An old man driving slowly on the left hand/first land, sends a message that he always drives steadily and safely at the speed of 30km per hour. He might as well gain empathy and admiration because old man has poor insights.

The truth is, driving like a F1 racer is his casuality on the road. Besides, he has to drive uncomfortably slow at that moment because his fuel is running very low that if he drives any faster, the car automatically stops moving.

With various scenarios described above, it is apparent that non verbal communication plays a potent role where it sends distinguish messages to different receivers and this messages might not be the truth because, pictures can deceive humans.

Composed by Ho Bee Ling, Gervenne